Damon's Dark Side
by mrs.salvatore39
Summary: Damon finds a Christmas card Elena wrote for Stefan...what he reads brings out the darkness he's been working so hard to keep hidden. will elena be able to bring him back? HOLIDAY EXCHANGE 2011 M for a very good reason


_a/n: this was written for the author2author exchange on livejournal for amasochistsoul/ Leanne90. This is definitely a oneshot that pushes my limits but when I read the prompt I just knew I had to try. Here goes. Happy Reading!_

_p.s. this is EXTREMLY different than anything I've ever written before. There is borderline violent kink so if you think you might be offended, don't read. Sometimes writers need to experiment and this is my attempt at that. I'm tapping into my dark side a little here, so if it's not your thing, don't worry I won't be upset to see less reviews than normal, but you have been warned…_

Damon didn't mind the fact that Elena was playing obnoxious Christmas music too loud, that she was singing to it slightly off key as she decorated the Boarding House, because at least it meant she was there. He didn't mind that she was in sweats and an old shirt of his, because it reminded him of their sexy morning in the shower. He didn't mind that she'd turned his house into Christmas explosion that would have give St. Nick nightmares, because this was their first Christmas together and all he wanted was for her to be happy. He sat on the couch, sipping his brandy and watching her hang the stockings over the fireplace. There were just two, but it didn't look as sad if he'd only put one up.

Not that he'd ever been able to bring himself to decorate for this holiday until today. The last hundred and forty five Christmases had been spent in a strange bed with a strange woman in an even stranger town, but not this year. This year he had friends, family…and most importantly he had Elena. She turned to look at him, her face flushed from the heat of the fire, a warm smile on her face. He couldn't help but smile back as she came over to sit in his lap. She pressed a quick kiss to his lips before jumping off him and dashing to the kitchen when the timer sounded.

"My cookies!" he laughed and watched her disappear before noticing a ornament that had fallen from the tree. "Damon!" she called as he put it back in its place.

"Yes?"

"Do you mind going into my purse and grabbing the stack of Christmas cards? We have to fill them out and send them by tomorrow."

"Why don't we just hand them out to everyone at the party tomorrow?" he eyed her purse with wary eyes. A women's purse was a dangerous thing to mess with. Even in all his years he was still afraid to stick his hand in one. You just never knew what you were going to come out with.

"Come on please? In this age of technology people hardly ever get mail anymore. It's a nice treat to get something either then bills. Besides, I shouldn't have to explain it to you, Mr. Salvatore."

He gave in, not ready to start a fight anyway. "Alright, you win."

"Thank you. Just grabbed a handful from the table. Some are old, some are already filled out so I'll have to sort through them first. If you just put them on the table for me I'll be out in a minute."

"Okay." He sighed, wondering just when exactly he'd become so whipped. Damon Salvatore was not normally one to be whipped.

Grumbling about women and their bedroom skills, he grabbed the thick stack of envelops and set them on the coffee table. He was about to walk away, go to the kitchen and try to work a 'against the fridge quickie' into today's time, but Elena's familiar writing of a familiar name caught his attention and stopped him cold. Neither of them had seen or heard from Stefan in months. He was off somewhere playing tug of war with Klaus, and even though on a brotherly level, Damon missed him it was nice having Elena all to himself. Curiosity got the better of him and he snatched the envelope from the pile, his bad boy instincts taking over.

He knew it was wrong, even as he opened the card he knew it was wrong…but he told himself it was only to make sure Elena was his, that she loved him. With a quick glance to the kitchen he read the card, his heart sinking slowly in his chest. His fingers gripped the card, mangling and tearing the paper as he read words of love, her desperate plea for him to come home. She missed him, ached for him, longed for him. By the time Damon got to the last line, the card was a shriveled pile of scrap paper on the floor. He felt the warmth, the happiness of the morning leave him quickly, the joy replaced immediately by the cold hard truth that Elena didn't love him.

She was just sleeping with him, living with him, saying she loved him until Stefan came home. The growl came from low in his throat as he tossed the remaining scraps of cardstock into the fire. His eyes were burning when she came back into the room, but he glazed them over making his face hard and cold. At first she didn't notice, they'd been blissfully happy for days and she'd only left him along for a few minutes, but the slam of a whiskey bottle as he filled a glass made her jump and look up at him. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." He glowered, staring into his drink. He couldn't look at her, he just couldn't. Everything he'd been feeling, everything she said she'd been feeling…it was a lie. A beautiful, wonderful, heartbreaking lie. "I'm going for a drive."

Elena watched as Damon finished his drink, grabbed his keys from the table and slammed the door behind him. A sudden cold wind blew through her body, but it wasn't from outside, it was from the look Damon had given her before he'd disappeared. She wasn't sure what had happened, and clearly he wasn't in the mood to discuss it right now. Maybe when he cooled off things could go back to normal, and the night she'd had planned wouldn't be ruined. She had no idea just how wrong she was. Damon pushed the pedal to the floor as he sped over the ice slicked streets. He didn't know where he was going, and at the moment he didn't care. Elena had lied, betrayed him…just like Katherine.

He shook his head, the loud rock music smoothing his nerves slightly as he pulled a wild U-turn and nearly skidded into a lamp post. Righting the Camaro once more, he took off back for the house. The half hour away had given him time to fume, to scream and now he was going to go back and get some answers. His head pounded as he refused to let the tears fall, he would not cry over that face one more time. If Elena wanted to play both sides of the court like her doppelganger, then she could do it with another set of brothers. He was ruling the Salvatore's off limits, and he was doing it tonight. When he pulled into the driveway he saw she'd turned the lights on, the ones they'd hung together the day before.

He glared at them and walked to the front door, slamming it open. The smells of dinner found his nose, but he would not let her cooking distract him. He was pissed…he was furious…he was- All thoughts stopped when he saw her standing in the doorway to the kitchen. He was done for, whipped and completely screwed. The short red dress she'd put on for dinner called and tempted him, almost made him forget about the card. But almost forgetting reminded him all over again and he stepped into the house, the door shutting behind him loudly. She looked up, her eyes slightly glassy as if she'd been crying. "Where did you go?"

"Out." He walked past her, careful not to touch her. "Is dinner ready?"

She said nothing at first, watching him sit down at the table. "Yes." He didn't turn to look at her, he didn't wait to sit down, he just started serving himself and eating. "Is everything alright?"

"It will be." His voice was dark and she shivered. She'd never seen him this angry, not in a long time. "Sit down."

She didn't know why she needed the invitation, but she'd obviously been waiting for it. The meat she'd been craving all week suddenly didn't look appetizing and she found herself pushing the food around on her plate as he ate, silently. She looked up at him a few times, only to find him glaring at her or acting like she wasn't there at all. When he was done he shoved the plate away and crossed his arms. "I think it's best if you go home tonight."

It was the longest sentence he'd said since coming back but it did nothing to comfort her. "Home?" she hadn't spent a night away from the Boarding House in two months. "I don't understand."

"What don't you understand?" his hand fisted in the table cloth as he fought for control. "I don't want you here."

His words struck straight to her heart and she pushed herself from the chair to come to him. "Damon, tell me what's happened."

"I don't have to explain anything to you." He pushed her hands away as she reached out for him, kicking his chair back as he stood. "Get out."

The fire in his eyes scorched her and she stepped back. He hadn't yelled, he hadn't hit her but the pain she felt from his anger was somehow worse. "What did I do? We were so happy this morning?"

"I can't be happy living a lie with you anymore Elena. It's over, get it. I don't love you, I don't want you. I don't ever want to see you again."

The metaphorical blade of pain he'd thrust into her heart twisted and she stumbled back against the table. "Damon, I honestly don't know what's going on."

He grabbed her around the waist, rough on purpose. He pressed her down onto the table, the wood cracking from the force. She cried out, but he ignored the regret and squeezed tighter. "What? You don't want to leave, is that it? You want to stay here and keep my bed warm until Stefan comes back? Was that your plan all along?"

"Stefan?" she gasped, tears falling from her eyes. "I haven't talked to Stefan since the morning of the Homecoming dance. You know that."

"Lies." He growled and swept most of the tables contents onto the floor with one hand. The candles she'd lit fell and thankfully extinguished themselves in the gravy boat before landing on the tablecloth. "I saw the Christmas card Elena, I know all about it."

"Christmas card?" she shook her head, her mind reeling as she tried to figure out what was wrong. "I didn't do a card for Stefan. I don't even know where to find him."

"His Chicago address was on the envelop. Quit lying!"

"I'm not lying. I have no idea what you're talking about." She cried out as his hands gripped her shoulders, the table threatening to crack once more

"You're just like her! Think you can have us both. I won't do it again Elena, I won't go through the pain one more day."

He released her suddenly and turned to stomp off, but she grabbed his hand at the last second, her body shaking. "Damon please, I love you. You have to know that."

He turned to face her slowly, the air buzzing with anger and underlying passion. Even in this moment, this moment of anger and disgrace, disgust he found he still wanted her. Fine, he would have her one last time. "You love me?" he spat, pushing her hand away. "You still want me?"

She held her breath as he set her on the table, his hand reaching for the steak knife he hadn't yet knocked off. "Damon, please…don't."

"Don't what?" he ran the flat side of the blade up her thigh, hooking the point in her skirt and quickly cutting a slit in it. "You want to be a whore like Katherine? You want to play both of us. You can't say you love me and beg him to come back at the same time Elena, it doesn't work like that."

Elena's lips shuddered and she sucked in a breath, watching his hand as he lifted the knife and cut another slit between her breasts. She swallowed her cry, her plea knowing it would do no good. Whatever had come over Damon was unstoppable now. The look in his eyes reminded her of the old Damon, the bad Damon- the one she'd feared. Her Damon was gone right now, and there was nothing she could do at the moment to bring him back. Her eyes shut and she felt the cool blade against the heated skin of her neck, but he didn't cut her. She shuddered, his hands going to the opening of her dress and tearing it open.

She heard the knife clatter to the floor as he ripped her dress to shreds. In his absence she'd dressed in one of the Santa lingerie numbers she'd bought to surprise him for Christmas, but he hardly blinked as he took in the sight of her half naked body. His eyes glittered with rage as he tore the white fur from the skirt, tore open the bodice. She bit her lip, closed her eyes and waited for it to be over, then he latched his lips to her neck, his hands gentle for a moment and she nearly relaxed. His dark chuckle a moment later sent goosebumps erupting over her skin and she pushed back, her hands firm fists on his chest. He was much stronger than her, and she did little more than enrage him more.

"Don't Damon. Don't hurt me." The tears fell down her cheeks, but he would not let them effect him. "Not this way."

He tore her red lace panties from her hips and slipped two fingers into her without warning, the most devilish smirk she'd ever seen on his lips. "For someone that keeps saying no, you're awfully wet."

She shuddered, watching him pull away and licked his fingers clean. She was turned on, and that was unfortunate, but it didn't mean he wasn't scaring her half to death.

"I do love you Damon, remember that. Hold onto that."

He growled, his hand gripping her arm and creating bruises almost instantly. "Now you're just being a bitch, using the same lines on me. Did Stefan fall for that one too?"

She gasped, remembering. She'd written the card months ago, back when they were searching for Stefan, before she and Damon had become serious. "Damon, please I can explain everything."

He shook his head, pulling her from the table and wrapping his arms around her. "I don't want to hear anymore of your lies. You still love me? Well, then I will make you hate me."

He rushed them upstairs, kicking his door open with such force it nearly unhinged. She shrieked when he tossed her on the bed, pulling his long sleeved shirt off as she huddled against the pillows, the remnants of her Santa skirt around her waist. "You don't know what you're doing." She said, barely recognizing the man in front of her. "I don't love Stefan, I haven't loved Stefan in a long time. I only love you, I only want you."

Damon couldn't think straight anymore. The anger and pain had snapped his last hold on control. Partly, he only saw Katherine before him, and that enraged him more. He was on the bed in the next instant, pulling her down beneath him and ridding her body of any leftover clothing. She clung to him, in fear, in lust. She couldn't deny that she wanted him, that in a sick, twisted way seeing him unhinged like this turned her on…he'd been so careful lately to be gentle with her, to keep his fangs hidden away, but now he was full vampire, full animal.

The man doing this to her was not the man she loved, she understood that somehow, and as long as she kept saying she loved him over and over, he didn't complete lose his mind. Elena cried out when he entered her, no warning, no teasing. Her nails dug into his back as she held on, unable to meet his inhuman thrusts. She could only wait until the ride was over and hope that he didn't kill her in the process. His fingers tangled in the hair at the nape of her neck and pulled, bending her head back and leaving her neck free and on display. She felt his fangs cut into her flesh and the hot sticky blood spill down her neck. He lapped it up, thrusting deeper.

He bit her often during sex, but it was never this primal, this raw. He could be rough when the moment called for it, but this was an entirely new experience. She felt herself clenching tightly around him as he drank her life source. She felt herself getting weak as the blood loss and the orgasm drained her. She called his name, begging him to stop, begging him to keep going. He wasn't sure which plea was for which action, and he didn't care to comply to either of them. When his release came he rolled off her and fell asleep, not caring if she cried or if she left and he never saw her again.

_D/E_D/E_D/E_

Damon sat straight up in bed, feeling around the mattress for her. The sick feeling in his stomach didn't subside when he saw the blood stains on the pillow from where he'd bitten her. He listened carefully around the house, his vampire ears picking up her heart beat faintly from the living room below. He practically ran down the stairs, a thousand apologies on his lips, knowing that no matter how many times he said he was sorry it would never be enough. She would hate him now, he was sure of it. When he found her, she was standing in front of the fireplace wrapped in his robe. There was a card in her hand and he recognized it as the one he'd torn.

Confusion rammed into him and he gripped the banister, holding breath he didn't need in his burning lungs as she turned to look at him. She smiled slightly, and dropped the card into the fire. He watched it turn to dark ask, then watched as she came close to him, taking his hand and pulling him close. She pressed her cheek to his bare chest and held on tight. "I found a card I wrote to Stefan a few months ago. Caroline had been trying to get me on this kick to jump start Christmas preparations and I guess I wrote him one."

He didn't say anything, just held her tight and thanked the heavens it had all been a nightmare. "I love you Elena."

She looked up at him, the robe falling away from her shoulder slightly to show there were no bite marks, no bruises. "I love you too." She pressed up on her toes and kissed him. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, just a little shaken up. I guess I had a nightmare."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

He shook his head, framing her face with his hands. "As long as you promise this is real, that this moment right now is ours…I won't think about it ever again."

She nodded slowly, her eyes full of concern. "Should I be worried?"

Damon shook his head and held onto her for dear life. His dark side would never come out again, he couldn't allow it.

_a/n: I know, it was a cop out to make it a nightmare. I toyed with the plot and idea for this story for days. I'm sorry for chickening out, but I just couldn't bring myself to post this as a 'real' fic. Please don't hate me Leanne90 _

_p.s. to my normal reviewers that stayed till the end: we will not return to regularly scheduled programming. hehe_


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